Being An Evil Queen Wasn’t As Fun As I Expected – Mollie Barratt

Being born into a magical family wasn’t as fun as I had expected.

Every day that my powers didn’t appear,

My parents’ disappointment and doubt became more so.

Until at last,

I clicked my fingers and as the friction created the same old noise as the day before,

Sparks flew and flashed like fireworks on my birthday

In the air and in my parents’ hearts.

They loved me.


Being born with a predisposition of evil and wickedness wasn’t as fun as I had expected.

It was more so.

Setting people’s bags on fire

Setting people’s friends on each other

Setting people on fire with their friend’s bags

It was a blast.

(I blew up the school)

They loathed me.


Marrying a king and becoming queen wasn’t as fun as I had expected.

No you can’t kill the cook for over-doing your breakfast.

No you can’t suspend the horse boy from the stable using his intestines as rope.

No you can’t have an army of evil flying monkeys.

Where the public saw a just and loving king,

I saw a tyrannical husband.

But I will admit,

I loved him.


Having a beautiful stepdaughter who was cherished by all wasn’t as fun as I had expected.

Her incorruptible heart paraded around my castle day and night.

I could practically see the vile humility and detestable angelic glow radiating from her.

Her heart was so pure

I could see it every night as I slept and I wanted it.

I loathed her.


Having a huntsman so cowardly it makes one sick wasn’t as fun as I had expected.

All I wanted,

All I needed,

Was her heart removed and brought to me.

Her heart.

I bet it wouldn’t have glowed so brightly when lying bloody and bruised in my palm.

He couldn’t fail me in the end though.

I took his heart.


Ingeniously deciding to dress up three times corresponding with three different assassination attempts wasn’t as fun as I had expected.

It was exciting.

It was exhausting.

It was infuriating.

Having to be nice to that little princess before I murdered her.

Your body would look even more beautiful in this bodice

Please, try it.

Your hair would look even more marvellous with this comb

Please, try it.

Your skin would look even more youthful after eating this apple

Please, try it.


I took her life.


Being invited to a royal wedding and discovering,

With more horror and despair of an eternal Halloween,

That the stepdaughter you believed to have been killed by your hand

Was now giving it away to a prince,

Wasn’t as fun as I had expected.

She died in front of me.

But she didn’t.

She should have died in front of me.

But she didn’t.

I failed to destroy her happiness.


Being forced to wear burning shoes and dance until my death wasn’t as fun as I had expected.

The glow of the coals heating the white hot metal reminded me of Snow White.

Her radiance.

My evil.

Her beauty.

My pain.

The shoes were a perfect combination of us both and as I danced,

I felt nothing other than my skin melting and moulding to the iron

My nails falling away and collecting at the heels,

Jumping around as I moved

My bones burning to ash.

There was no rest of reprieve.

Did she watch?

I suppose not.

I danced my way to Hell.

She danced her way to Heaven.

She succeeded in destroying my everything.


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